Me. At least after what I've been through.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
it's like heaven, but drunker
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
