Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
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