i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
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