you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Randomize
