hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
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