I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
