I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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