I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
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