And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
