yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Randomize
