Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
