This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
