I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
