I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
