and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Just fell off a train. Bad.
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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