is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
