Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
