tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I seem to have left my pride at pride
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Randomize
