I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
