so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
