I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
