Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize
