Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
