ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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