just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Randomize
