Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
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