just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
