I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
