You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
i need some magic done to my vagina
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Randomize
