I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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