It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
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