when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Everything about him screamed your future.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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