think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
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