Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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