The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
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