i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Randomize
