yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
