At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Randomize
