I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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