If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Randomize
