I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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