girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
