dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
