we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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