it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
