Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize
