and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
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