you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
