Cold hands, warm shart.
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
