Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
