So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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