She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
