please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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