well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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