Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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